And there they go.
All so full of -pride-.
Seeking to satisfy, vulgarly,
Their need for acceptance.
They don't even approve themselves,
They want others to do it instead.
They can't stand to be -different-
To deviate from the norm.
They need to feel the same,
For that is sure and safe.
And that -safety- provides them with satisfaction.

"I don't follow trends, I create my own",
LOL sorry to burst your bubble, hun.
But you are, indeed, following a trend.
Don't you know?
Now it's "cool" to be "uncool".

I remember that, not so long ago,
Trends where just about fashion, clothing.
Now, it seems, they are about attitudes, ways of living.
Men, are we going downhill or what?

I don't understand that stupid need to feel part of this,
Or feel part of that.
We are not the words we use,
We are not the career or job we have,
We are not our hobbies,
We are not the chicken or meat we choose to eat.
They form part of our daily lives, true.
But what we are is what's deep down our skin.
Our passions, our desires.
Those things we cannot choose to feel or like.
Everything that's underneath our flesh,
What people cannot see.

We are what we feel.
We are what we think.
We are how we act,
When no one is around.
We are what we are.
We are not going to be able to change that.
There is no point in trying.
You may lie, pretend, and try as hard as you can.
But you will be anything else but you.
No matter how much you hate it.
You can't change yourself, your true self anyway.
So you might as well deal with it.
Accept who you are,
Embrace yourself.

Wear what you feel like fucking wearing.
Do what you feel like fucking doing.
Say what you think.
Express how you feel.
Be careless and ignorant about trends.
Don't let anything interfere or pollute your interests.
Never hold your self back because of what others might think.
Act as if your life was a play and the only audience was yourself.
Then, and only then, come and talk to me about being unique.
Until then I won't call you an individual.
I will refer to all of you, as what you are.
"They" Because its existence depends on the existence of others that also form the group.
There is no I, you, he or she, in "they".
You don't form part of a group,
You are a group.
You don't exist without the others.
You are nothing more than just group.
A group with a collective half-functioning brain.

the silence is deep
mess everywhere
nicotine in absence
caffeine in strong presence

I want you to push me to places I've never been before.
I want you to test my limits.
To force me,
To break me.
To make me go through the barriers.
Inflict in me the most beautiful pain.
Calm these needs that have not yet been sufficed.
The excitement is like electricity,
That runs through my veins
Burning everything in within.
And I long to feel it one more time.
Is so addictive, you see.
I need the rush.
Otherwise, I wont feel a thing.
I wont ever be complete.

Make my skin melt.
My guts burn.
My blood boil.
Make me feel alive.

All parts of my body
every muscle
every organ
every atom
is missing you
right now

I need to have you
inside
one more time
just one more time
an endless time.

I need to taste you
to breath you
to have your fingers
squeezing my body
to have you hands
destroying my bones
to feel your tongue
burning my skin

To feel the weight of your body
on top of me
crushing me
leaving its mark
marking its territory.

I'm yours now,
for you to take,
for you to break,
for you to do whatever you want,
whenever you want.

after my life is over
my soul, if it continues its journey
there will no longer be longing for your touch
there will be no passion left to burn
there will be no more feeling you
nor you feeling me
this is the last life we get
to kiss, to laugh, to touch
to feel your legs grabbed in mine
to feel your hand squeeze my hip
and my hand pulling your thigh
there is no other chance
to lick to suck to grind
is today or is never again
i lied when i said i was gonna love you forever
im only going to love you tonight
that's the most i can offer, tonight

no puedo matar esta sensacion
a veces quisiera arrancarme la piel
ponerle un precio a mi cabeza
quisiera quemarlo todo
sumergirlo en el lodo hasta que deje de respirar
a veces quisiera destrozarme a mi misma
a veces quisiera hacerme estallar
para dejar de sentir
para empzar a matar
para terminar esto que me quiebra los huesos
que me hiere al tratar de escapar del pecho
pero no hay palabras tan punzantes, tan cortantes
tan detonantes, tan llenas de sufrimiento
para explicarlo este pesar que se a aduenado de mi cuerpo
la carne la prefiero derretir
los ojos los prefiero exprimir
el cerebro lo prefiero aplastar
la lengua la prefiero arrancar
preferiria cualquier dolor corporal
antes de seguir sintiendo
estos diez mil infiernos dentro de mi

For making me want love songs to come true.
For being what i always wanted but what i never got.
For slipping on me so quietly thru the cracks of my soul,
Then breaking me from the inside,
Fuck you
For leaving broken,
And because i never planned for this to happen,
But seems like your plans had plans for me,
And it was to tear me apart.
Fuck you
Because your never here and because you never call,
And I have hundred voices running beneath my skin,
All of them screaming only one name, your name
And because when your gone,
I feel more alone than ever.
Fuck you

Well, Ive always thought the world was a big joke,
a cosmic prank that was a bit lacking in humor.
but, haha, now I've started to see,
the only joke around here was me.
I was on an ivory hunt,
But turned out I'd left the guns behind.
I've only done this thousands of times,
Verbalized unworthy routes and verbs into actions
I'm digging down,
Deeper into the sucking mud.
In this swamp 'til it swallows me whole.
I'm painting myself with the colors of pale blues, browns and deep purples
When will the bruises fade?
When will they go away?
Never.
I've only done this thousands of times
Filled myself with the anxiety and self loathing,
Forgetting to forget that I'm all alone.
But remembering to remember that I'm not supposed to know,
Separating myself even more.
So this child, absent from the world, starts to cry
"I don't wanna feel alone, but I can't be that stupid.
One can only blind the self for so long, you know?"
Life has threw up in my face
She's only done this thousands of times
Reminding me, I've always been alone,
And by God, that's how things'll stay!
So, life becomes a challenge?
a struggle for survival?
For responsibility?
for will?
I agree.
This life, and all that is to me,
Has been willed and accepted, by me.
In one way or another.
The bubble inside me has burst.
Truth is, and always has been,
I am nothing but what I have created.
I've settled this matter,
For once and eternity,
So it may be seen,
That you do not see me.
You do not know me.
You do not care.
But neither do I, now.
I"m not sorry that I'll never explain my motives.
I'll never find the words to describe why I keep heading down this path,
the path where I seem to cut others off after much too short an accompaniment.
Perhaps I'm addicted to the suffering of the soul.
To that immense transcendence of nothingness that brings.
I suppose is a sort of curse.
But at least is my curse.
The only constant in my life.
So I'll stick to this sickening nostalgia,
As she has stuck to me.
For now, no more weight,
Or tears,
Time, or life.
Do I lose?
It does feel like it sometimes, that's for damn sure.
But I can't keep holding on,
For that something,
For that someone,
For that anything that makes me feel connected.
I've realized now is a dead end for me.
I'll hold on to the emptiness now,
I'll embrace her,
I'll love her,
I'm going to fuck her every night in a crappy hotel.
Just as she has raped me for so many years.

Y quisiera sentirte una vez mas,
Pero es un deseo que nace por ocio,
Por pereza de encontrar algo nuevo.
Pensar en ti no es mas que costumbre.
Hoy no existe necesidad de ti.
Ni de tu voz, o de tus caricias,
Ni de tu esencia en presencia,
Ni de tus palabras.
Hoy tu voz ya no recorre mis entrañas.
Hoy no hay deseo de inhundarme en ti,
Ni de llenarte a ti de mi.
Ni de fundir dos almas en una sola piel.
Hoy son varias las noches que duermo sin querer mirar tus ojos,
Sin imaginar tu manos quemandome la piel.
Hoy hace dias que no se de ti,
Hoy hace semanas que no necesito hacerlo.

Se ha vomitado arte.

abrazo tu ser con mi lengua

con mis rodillas en el suelo

y tus dedos frios conduciendo mi cabeza

mis manos se aferran a tus piernas

mientras siento tu nombre correr por mi yugular

y tu vida se vacia en las orillas de mi boca

creando una linea blanca cuyo trayecto se escurre por el cuello

y que lentamente va bajando

tan dulce como un blues amargo

tThere is Truth,
hidden deep within the sea of our minds,
In great, billowing clouds,
Rolling across the jagged rocks and imposing waves,
Matching the rhythm of the tides,
At the will of Luna herself:
In and out,
Close and far,
Here and gone.

I want to feel my legs in your thighs intertwined
your teeth sliding down my neck
and your hands on my hips
I want to feel your men weight on top of me
while you grasp my breasts with your hands
and play with my toes in your mouth
I want to feel you inside of me
while I lick your ear
and you bite my tongue.

I want to see something beautiful die

is that too wrong?

i've closed my eyes so many times before
to what? i do not know
but this cigarette tastes like its time to go
i dont know where i went wrong, you see
or how ive come to see our memories fall to the floor.
But now everything gone, and i dont miss those days at all
its strange how my fingers felt this coming, some days ago
and even though i should have walked away, when i could
i decided to wait here to see me be left alone.

pain is an addiction, to both, the world and me
but this pain seems surreal, now; i can no longer feel
if we keep this pase soon we well be with no memory of each other
so wont you run away from me now
and before you do, wont you stab me slowly in the night,
with a knife of the size of the sun ?
so beautifully, that it will make me drip out poetry.
wont you provoke something in me
something beautiful, something mean
i just long to feel something for you one more time
for the good old days, for the name of art