Today I laugh at yesterday.
Everything, except this moment, is a joke.
I no longer have a concept of time.
I only have a great need to live,
to drink to the full.
To commit excesses, to taste it all.
I need to go somewhere splendid.
I'm sick and tired of the vulgarity of this place.
It seems to be only petty, meager, bloodless...
And I'm full of indignation,
yet, full of gaiety.
Like most days, lately.
Where I live in both; ecstasy and maddening pain.
And I'm not trying to find sanity, nor calmness.
I want a place where I can conceal my madness.
My need of revolutions, search for truths.
A place where I can find liberty to feel, think and create.
Destroy if necessary.
Somewhere to end the tremendous struggle to get deeper,
deeper into my own feelings, my own thoughts.
A dwelling where the possibilities in me can come to fruition.
Because words aren't sufficient,
I can't conform only with writing.
I want to live,
live with the conscious of a thinker,
with the inspiration of a poet,
with the intensity of a lover.
And right now I can't seem to calm this tragic desire
of knowledge, of wisdom, of understanding a bit of this life...

What a yawp I set up, you might think.
But it's only part of trying to maximize life.
Hope you understand.

Inmensely Elated.

I keep raising the glass of wine to my lips,
And it's making me dizzy.
Dizzy, dizzy...

Alors, I explode myself into analysis.
In this state, always a delicious torture.
I have to invent my life as I go along, you see.
I have to question my mind before is gone.

Sometimes I live by staggeringly impulse,
sometimes following palpitating emotions.
Sometimes rationality takes control.
I'm never constant in any road.

I cry, laugh, hate and love,
I do it all at the same time.
I live oblivious of people,
time, place and others.
And that might be,
Perhaps,
Not the most prodigious life.
Yes, of that I'm aware.
Although,
I'd lie if I say I care.
Bcuz, even tough is hard to explain this utter madness inside,
I understand and bless my nonsense.
As well as my loneliness.

And this is me,
a person who have always loved the chaos,
the living abstract,
the fuyant world..
A girl who never accepts to be anything you were already before.

I might be wrong,
and most likely I am.
But everyone should live as they desire,
everyone should live as they pleased.
So I decided to always do it wholly.
Never bloodless, never packed.
No days without thinking
no moments without love.
Maximizing the pleasures,
minimizing the dull.

And this is it,
I have no real conclusions about life,
after all, if you think about it,
it's impossible; there are none.
.