i want this night to be the coldest night ever
while i find myself speaking to a hole in the wall
theres only one more cigarette left in the pack
and im sure it will taste sweeter than all the other ones
but im afraid to light it
i wonder why i am insecure so very often
my throat is full with memories
my heart is in a basket
and to be honest you made me better
you gave me more of what sits inside of me
but at nights the only thing i want to hold is God
yet i dont have to guts to live for him instead of myself
and it makes me feel like time is slipping and i'm wasting it away
by day i wish i had a lover, but i dont have one
for the same reason i dont have God
and i know time is slipping and i'm wasting it away
if only i had someone to share it with,
but i would be lying if i said i care
sometimes i wish i had a home, but i refuse to ever go back
i would like to hear a sound so sad it gives me aches
or to feel something that would make my heart beat faster,
or slower... i dont really mind
my ankles are just so tired of carrying my pains
my hands are damaged for carving my thoughts onto stones
my soul was given up on trying to fill up this hole
i wonder what it would feel to share some real tears
and why i am disattached so very often