I'm not who you think I am.
Nothing of what you think of me is real.
Nothing.
I'm an illusion.
Literally.
What you think I am is only the person I've wanted everyone to think I was.
But I'm not.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
I'm just a perfect liar.
Why, yes I am.
I have created my own little world, you see.
And I have managed to get everyone inside of it.
In this little world of mine, I'm strong enough not to care,
strong enough to get through shit and come out clean.
In my world I know I don't need anyone,
and I feel safe, in control, complete.
But in real life, is not always that way.
Sometimes I feel so powerless.
Sometimes I wish there was someone holding my hand
telling me "Baby, everything will be okay".
CRAP
How I hate life sometimes.
It's such a bitch.
It's making me feel like I'm not myself today.
Like I'm just a scary little girl hiding behind an independent mind.
Because its safe in there.
But maybe I'm not myself today.
Or maybe this is me, and all the other days I was someone else.
But it can't be.
This is me.
Yesterday, even though I fell different, it was also me.
We are always ourselves,
Even when we lie, even when we pretend.
God, enough rambling.
I just feel like taking a long long nap.
But I can't sleep.
I feel so so tired but I'm still not able to sleep.
I hate this shit.